12/26/12 - Setting A Goal

My friend passed away a few years ago.  It was awful.  It was sudden.  It was really really sad.  I was really really sad. 

I often think of him and wonder what he thought about his life.  If he thought that it really meant anything.  That something would come of it.  That he would leave a legacy.  When things suck in your life maybe that's the only shit you really think about.  I know I don't really think about it all that much.  But I don't sit around and wonder about my mortality either.  I'm 30.  I don't have any children.  I think mostly about mundane stuff.  Who has time to really stop and philosophize?

The problem is that I really take that attitude towards almost everything really meaningful.  "Who has time to stop and tell this person you care about them?  Who has time to stop and go to church?  Who has time to stop and volunteer?"  Or even more often "Who has the money to donate to charity?  Who has the money to help a family in need?  Who has the money to make any kind of difference?" 

While I know I don't have extra time and money just laying around.  I do in fact have some to give away.  I just hold on to it very tightly.  I spend it doing good things (reading books, exercising, cleaning the house) and not so good things (watching tv, playing video games).  But good or bad they are all pretty self-centered activities. 

Another very key aspect to this project is that my wife is the most generous person in the world.  She gives her time and money freely to her friends and organizations that she cares about.  She is a better person than me.  I don't want to be a douchebag crankpot scroogey husband. 

I have decided to make a huge (perhaps unattainable) goal and to write it down because my wife told me that people that write down their goals are more likely to achieve them.

My goal is to do something good and kind every day for a year.  This can be directed at person, a family, or an organization.  The rules of what constitutes good or kind are decided by myself because in the end I think that's true for everyone.

There are a lot of reasons to have a goal like this.  Here are mine:

1.  To honor my friend who passed away because he was a kinder and more generous person than I may ever be.  Many people say that our loved ones live on through those that survive.  I would like to be a living legacy.
2.  To honor my friend's mother because she asked his friends to fill his Christmas stockings with good deeds this year. 
3.  To become a better person and stop being so self-centered and stingy.
4.  To have some fun because people who give more freely seem to have more fun than I'm having.
5.  To not be a douchebag crankpot scroogey husband, and to be more generous like my happy, beautiful wife that everybody loves.

I don't have any aspirations for greatness here and I am going to try and be as honest about it as I can.