Monday, December 31, 2012

12/31/12 - Day 6 - Shoveling Snow (free)

I came home from a social engagement early last night and decided to bust out some vinyl and listen to it.  I only listen to vinyl when I'm in my man cave area and even then I don't listen to it all the time.  I am always on the lookout for cheap, weird, unusual vinyl records.  I will often buy something even if I don't immediately like the record when I see that somebody has taken notes or written on the cover.  When I see this I generally know two things:  1. that the record belonged to someone that really liked it and 2. that this person is probably deceased.  Those are pretty safe assumptions to make given that only someone that geniunely liked the record would take the time to make notes on it and after going to all that work it's unlikely they would give the record up if they were still alive.  I feel like picking up these well loved records is my way of respecting a fellow music lover that has passed on. 

Last night I listened to The Norman Luboff Choir singing the Songs of The West.  The record used to belong to a man that lives in a town not too far away from my own.  I knew this because he had stamped his name, address, and profession (accountant) on both sides of the record.  I googled him and found out that he had passed away only last year.  The funeral home had one of those "In Memoriam" websites.  Right away I saw his picture and his story.  He went to church, he played piano, organ, and violin, he served in WWII, seemed like an awesome guy.  Now I, a total stranger, have one of his records.  One, based on the notes, it seems he really liked.  I may be getting to romantic about vinyl records here but it seemed like somebody in his family should know that a person is actually appreciating their lost loved ones vinyl.  There was a spot for messages on the website and I thought it would be a real act of kindness to leave one.  Somebody had apparently purchased the majority of his records before me because they had already left the same exact message I was going to leave.  I left one anyway just to let any nieces or nephews know that even if not by a blood relative their great uncle's vinyl was being cared for.

That wasn't really my kindness act of the day but I thought it was neat. 

Today it snowed!  Not a ton but maybe two or three inches.  I had been thinking about shoveling snow for my neighbors as a good anonymous kindness attack whenever there was enough to shovel.  Today was the day.  After getting home from work I put my boots, gloves, and hat on and set to work.  I shoveled my own drive way first.  Then went to my next door neighbor's and started shoveling.  I purposefully picked this neighbor because he just recently moved in to that house and I hadn't had the right opportunity to introduce myself yet.  I wasn't trying to get recognized but I figured if I did meet him it would be under good circumstances.  I was almost completely done shoveling his driveway I saw him looking out his front door with a confused expression.  I waved and introduced myself and just told him I was doing my good deed for the day.  He introduced himself and thanked me.  I know it wasn't really anonymous anymore but I may have never introduced myself to him if I hadn't done it so it was a pretty good kindness attack anyway.

I had planned to do other neighbors driveways but I started to feel a little self conscious.  There probably wasn't anybody actually watching what I was doing but I started to notice that a lot more people were home than when I had started shoveling.  I don't know how much every one of my neighbors actually want me on their property.  I should have kept going anyway but I didn't.  At least I made one guy happy.  He did seem geniunely thankful and surprised. 

Money spent so far:  $19.87

Sunday, December 30, 2012

12/30/12 - Day 5 - Clean the House and Click for Food (free)

Today seemed to go by too damn fast.  I woke up early and started getting nervous about trying to squeeze some kindness into the day.  I decided it was time to clean the house.

Cleaning the house is a little self serving but the kindness was really directed towards my wife.   She's always doing nice things for me like cooking and cleaning and reseaching cool high paying jobs that I could apply for.  Time to repay a little bit.  Cleaned the upstairs first because she had fallen asleep on the couch downstairs.  Finished in record time and wasn't even late for work. 

The other thing I did today was hardly an attack of kindness.  It's a just a bizarre thing that happens on the internet.  It's a click for food thing.  I only know about two of these that are legit. 

1.  The Hunger Site

2.  Free Kibble

I'm sure there are more.  Further research is necessary.  I'm on the internet every day so I'm going to try and make this a regular thing I try to do.  They both work with sponsors and every time somebody goes to the site and clicks a button good stuff happens.  The sponsors donate a set amount to get food to starving people or to animals in shelters.  Pretty awesome and super easy.  So easy that I am very suspicious of it.  Both of these website didn't ask for anything though and the marketing actually worked.  They are both loaded with advertisements for their sponsors and I clicked on several of the links that I saw.  I will probably end up donated to some of them later on in the year.

I also tried to get out and be more social today.  Many of my friends were getting together for an evening of social drinking.  I usually sit these events out because I am a little bitch.  I decided to go ahead and go.  I arrived late and cut out early but at least I was there.  By no means am I saying that my presence at the event was a kindness on my part, just that I did make a purposeful effort to get out a do something. 

Money spent so far:  $19.87

Saturday, December 29, 2012

12/29/12 - Day 4 - Litter Pickup (free)


Yesterday I discovered an exact replica blog of what I'm doing here.  It wasn't anonymous, but it did have pictures.  I need to think about adding pictures to this blog.  I think it would increase the enjoyment but obviously decrease the anonymity.  Further deliberations are in order.

I looked for some volunteer opportunities in my area as well. Obviously something like habitat for humanity would be awesome. Not sure how to keep something like that anonymous either.

I tried to get my kindness attack done earlier than usual today.  Woke up and immediately set to work figuring out what to do.  I decided I wanted to help beautify my fair city by picking up trash.  I knew exactly where to start.  There is a stretch of road on the west side of the city that I frequently run along and I had noticed the trash getting caught in bushes and trees next to a creek.  That was it. 

I thought I would just try to fill one garbage bag and keep going until the bag was full.  It only took me an hour but it was a cold and windy hour.  I wasn't sure what to pick up though.  There are some things I found that were biodegradable (apple core, banana peel etc.) and somethings that I thought would be biodegradable eventually (paper mostly.) Fuck it, I'm picking up everything I see that's not grass or snow. This wasn't easy. There are a ton of cigarette butts along the street. A TON. I told myself this was just retribution for the literally thousands of butts I've thrown out my car window throughout the years. One of my friends in high school told me that it's not really littering because cigarette butts are biodegradable. I always thought the filters were in fact a fabric like cotton. Neither of those are true. The filters are made of cellulose acetate, a form of plastic. They take as long to break down as any other plastic which is a really long time. A bad habit that I have and misinformation that I lazily chose to believe have led me to litter for the past five years. Not good. 

I didn't fill my bag with just cigarette butts though.  The highlights include a rusty screwdriver, a lunchables packaging, an old honda hubcap, another garbage bag partially filled with trash, a full frozen Mountain Dew, a half eaten mystery sandwich, and a shit ton of plastic pop bottles.  I was wearing gloves so I wouldn't get any diseases. 

I'm not sure how anonymous I was being, I wasn't wearing any disguises and somebody could have maybe recognized me driving by on the street.
Money spent so far: $19.87


Friday, December 28, 2012

12/28/12 - Day 3 - Lottery Tickets

Free lottery ticket day!  When you are short on time and planning being nice costs you money.  I managed to give out $10 worth of lottery tickets very quickly today.

I did try to establish a couple of things for the future.  I messaged a long lost friend in order to send him a gift.  I looked into nursing homes in the area to start doing a performance.  I looked at more and more random acts of kindness.  But trying to squeeze something in between two jobs I had to get done today and quality time with my wife made me turn to a quick and easy (if not totally painless) method.  Giving lottery tickets to strangers.

I went to the gas station that I always go to and purchased 10 one dollar lottery tickets.  I really don't like the lottery but I figure giving it as a gift isn't really playing into the whole gambling addiction, preying on the poor aspects of the lottery that I despise.  I bought the "$500 a week for life!" tickets.  I hope somebody wins the grand prize.  I didn't really look at the odds on the back of the tickets but I figured out of 10 tickets one of them is probably a winner. 

I decided I would give them to the ladies at the gas station and the guys at the comic book shop I used to go to all the time.  The lady behind the counter at the gas station wasn't someone that I am used to seeing but I told her she could have a ticket and asked her to pass them out the the ladies that work there all the time.  I said I didn't have a chance to get them anything for Christmas so this was a belated gift.  It was easier than explaining that I'm trying to be a better person and this was part of that process.  She said "Thanks, that's so nice."  She seemed a little weirded out but geniunely grateful.

When I gave them to the owner of the comic shop I said the same thing and he was totally unphased.  "Oh okay.  Thanks."  I don't even think he made eye contact with me.  Oh well.  I tried to switch places and wondered if my reaction would be any different.  I think it probably would have been but the more important part is that the whole fucking thing was supposed to be anonymous anyway.  If it would have been anonymous (I could have done this by leaving in them in their mailbox) then I wouldn't have seen his reaction and it wouldn't have mattered.  I wouldn't have given it a second thought.  I still left satisfied but I clearly need to work on the anonymous part of the anonymous kindess attacks.  I'm too judgmental of people's level of gratitude. 

Geez.  Again, I end up feeling like an asshole after doing something nice.  Clearly more work needs to be done. 

Money spent so far: $19.87

Thursday, December 27, 2012

12/27/12 - Day 2 - Postcrossing and Thank You Notes

So today I did a little research about random acts of kindness.  I compiled a really long list of stuff from different websites and most of it doesn't appeal to me.  Most of the things I have found are either not very anonymous or there is no real sacrifice of time or money on my part to make me feel like I've really done anything.  How hard is it to "smile at a stranger?"  I just have to keep reminding myself that something, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, is really better than nothing.  And could actually make a difference. 

I did find a few things that I thought were cool and the first one I did today.  It's not very anonymous but I did think it was cool and nice.  It's a website called postcrossing.com and it's a service that pairs random people across the world so they can exchange postcards.  I sent out 5 (that's the maximum you can send at first) to Russia and The Netherlands and Germany and some other countries I can't think of.  You have a profile on the website and it tracks the postcards you send with a Postcard ID.  The system is reliant upon the person receiving the postcard to take a photo of it, log back in, and upload it to the website.  Again my trust sensors went up when I thought "I'm doing all this work and just hoping the joker that I'm sending my postcard to will log back on and give me credit."  Man I sound like a real dick. 

First, it wasn't really all that much work.  The website builds you a profile so you can see the random people's likes and dislikes.  I went to the Cardologist (a local business, good thing) and had a nice conversation with Doug (the owner, nice guy) a man I had never met before and I told him about the website and what I was doing (all good stuff.)  Secondly, I doubt anyone with enough motivation to be on a website like this would not log back on and upload a picture.  Thirdly, they are incentivized to do so because the more you receive and upload the more cool postcards get sent to you.  Lastly, I'm supposed to be doing an anonymous nice thing anyway and not thinking about myself.  Give me credit?  Who freaking cares if they don't upload the photo?  You did something nice for five people in the world and hopefully brightened their day.  This is my insane inner monologue while trying to do something nice on my second day!  I did do it though. 

Also I sent out thank you notes to everyone that gave me a Christmas gift.  This is obviously not anonymous and may not even seem overly nice to normal people.  In my 30 years on this Earth I think I have written thank you notes twice.  So for me it was a good feeling actually writing them and getting them all sent on their way today.  I even had to call my Dad to get his correct address (he moved recently) and had a longer-than-I-wanted-shorter-than-he-wanted conversation with him.  My Dad likes to talk and once he gets started it's hard to shut him down.  It was nice to talk with him though and I don't talk with him too often with him because we live so far apart and live pretty different lives. 

I also discussed with a friend of mine how I was trying to do good deeds everyday and how I was actually having a hard time thinking about what to do.  It makes me feel like a real piece of shit having a tough time figuring out how to be nice.  He suggested going to a nursing home and singing some songs to the people.  I thought that was a really good idea.  I'm gonna try and figure out when and how to schedule that.  

That's pretty much it for day two.  So far so reluctantly good.

Money spent so far:  $9.87

12/26/12 - Day 1 - Drive Thru Challenge, Bonus Bike Pickup

My first day trying to purposefully do something good.  But what should I do?  I really had no idea.
It shouldn't be that hard for a normal human being to think of something nice to do, but it wasn't easy for me. 

I settled on buying a random person in line behind me at Target something.  There were a few details worth mentioning about this decision.  I was going to Target anyway to return a video game I had been given for Christmas.  I was going to exchange it for the exact same game on a different system so I figured it would be the same price.  There turned out to be a $20 difference in my favor.  This extra $20 was given to me on a gift card.  So really the money was actually a bonus from the person who gave me the gift.  The gift card money was technically mine but not really.  This made giving it away a little easier.  I decided I wanted to do it anonymously.  People like to refuse help but if I just gave it to the cashier and told them to put it on the next person's purchase they wouldn't have a choice but to accept.  Then I ran into my own trust issues.  How did I know the cashier wouldn't just pocket my gift card as I walked away?  If I wanted to keep this whole thing anonymous I wouldn't be sticking around to watch the transaction happen.  So how would I know the transaction actually happened?  This was enough to keep my from using the gift card.  I just bought fabric softener and light bulbs and stuff I needed for the house with it.

Walking out of Target I felt pretty freaking dumb.  I still liked the idea though so I thought the McDonald's drive thru would be the perfect solution.  That way I could have a receipt and the person behind me in the drive thru wouldn't know I'd done it until I was gone.  I got a pop and paid for the person behind me.  My total was a 1.49, theirs was 3.87.  I drove away.  I did it!  Something nice.  Big let down.  I think the problem is that I don't eat McDonald's anymore and I think they have shitty food that isn't good for you.  I just helped somebody eat it for free.  Maybe that was the problem.  Or maybe I'm just new at this.

It was super windy today and as I was driving downtown I noticed in the Walgreen's parking lot a bicycle laid out in the middle of their entry way.  I pulled into the parking lot thinking "Bonus good deed!  On the first day!  Nice!"  As I got closer to the bike I noticed it was covered in stuff, like lights, bells and whistles, and decorations.  A huge antenna rose from the back of the bike adorned with an American flag.  There was a basket on the back and all the stuff inside of it was strewn across the sidewalk and parking lot.  It looked like a homeless person had upgraded from a shopping cart to a bicycle.  I picked everything up and put it back on the kickstand next to the Walgreen's entry way.  The wind very easily could have blown it down again.  I tried to prop it up as best I could.  The people inside Walgreen's could see me but I felt like they were more just watching me to see if was going to try to steal the bike.  After I knew the bike was going to remain in it's position and before I drew anymore attention from the Walgreen's staff I got out of there. 

Pretty good first day.   

Money spent so far: $3.87
 

12/26/12 - Setting A Goal

My friend passed away a few years ago.  It was awful.  It was sudden.  It was really really sad.  I was really really sad. 

I often think of him and wonder what he thought about his life.  If he thought that it really meant anything.  That something would come of it.  That he would leave a legacy.  When things suck in your life maybe that's the only shit you really think about.  I know I don't really think about it all that much.  But I don't sit around and wonder about my mortality either.  I'm 30.  I don't have any children.  I think mostly about mundane stuff.  Who has time to really stop and philosophize?

The problem is that I really take that attitude towards almost everything really meaningful.  "Who has time to stop and tell this person you care about them?  Who has time to stop and go to church?  Who has time to stop and volunteer?"  Or even more often "Who has the money to donate to charity?  Who has the money to help a family in need?  Who has the money to make any kind of difference?" 

While I know I don't have extra time and money just laying around.  I do in fact have some to give away.  I just hold on to it very tightly.  I spend it doing good things (reading books, exercising, cleaning the house) and not so good things (watching tv, playing video games).  But good or bad they are all pretty self-centered activities. 

Another very key aspect to this project is that my wife is the most generous person in the world.  She gives her time and money freely to her friends and organizations that she cares about.  She is a better person than me.  I don't want to be a douchebag crankpot scroogey husband. 

I have decided to make a huge (perhaps unattainable) goal and to write it down because my wife told me that people that write down their goals are more likely to achieve them.

My goal is to do something good and kind every day for a year.  This can be directed at person, a family, or an organization.  The rules of what constitutes good or kind are decided by myself because in the end I think that's true for everyone.

There are a lot of reasons to have a goal like this.  Here are mine:

1.  To honor my friend who passed away because he was a kinder and more generous person than I may ever be.  Many people say that our loved ones live on through those that survive.  I would like to be a living legacy.
2.  To honor my friend's mother because she asked his friends to fill his Christmas stockings with good deeds this year. 
3.  To become a better person and stop being so self-centered and stingy.
4.  To have some fun because people who give more freely seem to have more fun than I'm having.
5.  To not be a douchebag crankpot scroogey husband, and to be more generous like my happy, beautiful wife that everybody loves.

I don't have any aspirations for greatness here and I am going to try and be as honest about it as I can.